Corzine 2009???

It doesn't surprise me how many Democrats I'm friends with are skeptical about voting for New Jersey Gubernatorial incumbent Jon Corzine. People are really struggling during this recession, violence in our cities is overwhelming and depressing. It seems like nothing has changed from years past.

The truth of the matter is that is all incorrect. Of course, some people would say that I am biased because of where I work, but at the end the day facts are just facts. Jon Corzine is not the most charismatic of candidates, he hasn't scratched everyone's backs that he was supposed to and as a result it seems that people who should be supporting him, have offered lukewarm support if any at all.

Corzine was the first governor to make it so that elected New Jersey officials could not hold several elected positions at the same time. Why should someone be mayor, and a assemblyman/woman at the same time? How can they be dedicated to really serving their constituents if they have their hands in too many projects? He also eliminated a lot of the pork barrel legislation that was going on in state politics. It may piss off some of the New Jersey legislators, because they can no longer say, "okay I'll approve this bill if you give me $250,000 to build a community pool in my town." So even the Democrats are mad, but you see, that is what makes Corzine unique, he hasn't gone around trying to make friends....he's tried to make good policy. In a state that has long had an ugly reputation for corruption,



you need someone like Corzine who isn't trying to make friends or get donations...instead he's trying to serve New Jersey.


But when it does come to connections and alliances, Corzine is far more capable of serving New Jersey with his connection to Obama and the White House than his opponents could ever be.



(To throw a little mud around: let us not forget that Republican Chris Christie was a George W. Bush appointee.)It's clear that a lot of people haven't been reading the news or keeping up this year, CORZINE SAVED THOUSANDS OF JOBS WITH ARRA (STIMULUS) MONEY.



(Mud: Christie said he would have rejected that money, I don't know how that would've helped decrease property taxes if he is saying no to money.)

People love to throw the phrase, "tax and spend liberal" around, they also love to talk about how Democrats just love big government. Fact: JON CORZINE IS THE FIRST GOVERNOR IN SIX DECADES TO CUT THE SIZE OF STATE GOVERNMENT. Personally, I'm think agencies do a lot of great work, and I have never been adamantly opposed to government's presence in certain aspects of our lives where they can do good and provide needed services. However, as someone who has interned in an NJ agency (Sorry guys, but I have to tell the truth) there is a little bit of dead weight here and there. Corzine cut 7000 state jobs, so in a recession that seems like a bad idea, but in reality he saved NJ tax payers a lot of money. It was a tough decision, and I am saddened that so many people had to lose jobs, but in a recession, you can't keep doing the same things we've been doing, and make no sacrifices and expect to balance a budget. At the same time, if you weren't clear how Corzine had so many enemies, this is why. He didn't do what was popular, he did what was necessary.

Some people want money and a balanced budget to drop out of the sky. They don't want to cut jobs, they don't want toll hikes, but they want to invest more in education. Well wake up, this is the real world, and we have to make sacrifices to save things that are the most important like health care and education.

Corzine ensured 100,000 more New Jersey children. That is something that no one else before him has done. The New Jersey Family Care plan is innovative and Corzine is responsible for it. He ensured children across New Jersey who other wise may have gone un-insured. I can't find anything wrong with that. So if we had to pay a few extra cents on the highway to make sure that some 5 year old with working class parents can get his asthma treatment, so be it.

So facts are facts, if his budget this year is smaller than last year, how is that wasteful? When you are serving during tough times you cannot please everyone, so some of us have to stop being selfish, think long term and face the facts. Jon Corzine is the best decision for New Jersey.

Corzine 2009.

No One Will Hear You Scream

Imagine, you are walking out of a party; laughing, joking, having fun with your friends. You had a good time, and now its time to head home. As you walk out, you hear screams, or maybe the voice of someone crying. You also hear male voices telling someone to shut up, or laughing, and slapping each other fives while this female voice continues to cry.

Does your stomach turn into knots? Does your heart beat faster? Do you begin to feel nervous or uncomfortable? You know something bad is happening, you know that whatever it is, it scares you. You look at your friends, your eyes asking for direction, what should be the next move?

Do you walk over to find out what is happening? Lets say you realize quickly that someone, a young girl is being hurt. She is maybe your age, maybe younger, and she is definitely outnumbered. Your friends say, "Lets get out of here." Or do they laugh and take out their cell phones to video tape a brutal 2 hour rape?

Thats what some students did at Richmond High School in California. When I heard this story, I was hesitant to even read the whole article. The case was so horrendous I couldn't even bare to really learn the details. I am still coping with the brutal beating death of Derrion Albert in Chicago. The death was so violent and unnecessary that I was honestly overcome with anger.

I don't know if anyone realizes it, but Derrion Albert could have been your brother or mine. He could've been your father or mine, your cousin or nephew, or best friend, or husband or boyfriend. It is impossible to draw lines and separate oneself from this vicious acts of violence. Usually we can say, "oh that person was involved in something I'm not...I don't need to worry." Don't deny it, we've all justified the murder or violent attack of someone with social, or maybe racial lines that divide us. Many black people just like me, do it all the time. We hear about a person being murdered in Newark or Camden or Paterson or Trenton or Irvington and we say, "Oh I live in Maplewood," or "That wouldn't happen in Moorestown." We think if we stay in Suburban Wonderland everything will be fine.

We convince ourselves that we have nothing to worry about, so that we do not have to live with the fear and numbness that many people on the other side of the tracks have come to see as reality. We tell ourselves, "I'm not in a gang, I don't do drugs, I don't sell drugs, I don't know people like that.....this could never happen to me or someone I care about."

This should be our wake up call, Derrion Albert was an innocent bystander...an honor student trying to go home, and he was instead beaten brutally to death. People admitted stomping on his head as he tried to get up and move to safety. People have also admitted to hitting him with blocks of wood. Can you imagine the fear? Being all by yourself, surrounded by angry young men with lethal weapons. You look around for an escape, but your are trapped, your eyes fill up with tears, your stomach turns, maybe your face is hot.

You are all alone. Derrion was all alone.

The people who beat Derrion Albert to death aren't the only criminals here. The real criminals are the people who video taped this, the people who walked and drove by and did nothing. They told themselves that this was not their problem, or to mind their business, or to "stop snitching." They allowed cowardice, fear and selfishness to prevent them from immediately calling the police or running for help. They left Derrion alone to die.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/09/28/chicago.teen.beating/index.html

I recognize, that what really sickened me is not so much the brutal murder, but the people who drove by and did nothing. What is wrong with us? Have we come to live in such an isolated, selfish society that we do not have enough courage and compassion to help someone when they are dying? Even a 16 year old boy.

So now the cameras are in Richmond High School in the Bay area of California. A 15 year old girl was brutally raped after her high school homecoming dance, for two hours. PAUSE. I want you to sit and count to 120. Just imagine that you or someone you love, maybe your little sister, your mother, your daughter, or your girlfriend was being raped for each second of those two minutes.

Now imagine that it went beyond that, that she was raped and beaten for 60 times that. Imagine the fear she felt, did she think she was going to die? Did she think about the pain? I really want us to imagine what was going through this young girls head.

But that is just one crime, and on the grand scale of things, when there over 200,000 rapes a year in the U.S. maybe it is easy for some of us to just brush it off, forget about it even. What we cannot brush off is the idea that if it had been anyone of us, no one would have done anything.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/10/27/california.gang.rape.investigation/index.html

Just keep that in mind every time you are walking to your car at night, and every time you are waiting at a bus stop on campus alone. Its like that infamous horror movie line..."No one will hear you scream." The villain then lets out a bellowing chuckle. But this isn't a movie, its real life...and people might hear you scream, but no one will come and help you.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herd_behavior

I was doing a little research, because I really want to understand what goes on in people's minds as they or maybe we allow something like this to happen? Is it because we have been taught to put ourselves first, or is it because we live in the ipod generation where no one even shares music, we listen to our own song in our own ears, that no one else can hear. Is it because we're afraid that if we speak up and yell "Stop it" or "Help!" we will become victims? Or have we been able to distance ourselves from others because we have reified them? Or maybe we really have allowed street codes like the most ignorant and disgusting of all "Stop Snitching" steal away our consciouses? I wish someone could explain this to me. I pray to God that if something like this would ever happen, I would speak up, I pray that I would call the police.

In my research, I came across the Bystander Effect. It makes perfect sense, we are creatures of habit, but I honestly thought humans were supposed to be smarter and more capable of making decisions than animals. Maybe I was wrong.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bystander_effect

I'm not afraid of ghost, goons, goblins or witches this Halloween. I don't think you should be either. I think we should be afraid of being silent. Or maybe afraid that no one will hear you scream.

Blog about Blogging, Tiny & Toya and all things pop culture

So I realize that I'm not recording my thoughts the way that I should be. It is important to have a chronicle of the comings and goings of ones life, so you can reflect on who you are, who you are becoming, how you are developing, changing or not developing and changing. So since I never take the time to write in a journal, and I'm always on the internet. (shout outs to twitter and facebook for ruining my life.) I might as well journal on the internet, and make it public.

So for today:

Watched Tiny and Toya with the BFF last night. I have to admit I can be quite the elitist intellectual. I am appalled by most reality shows (and I secretly can't keep my eyes off of them.) It is sickening how people have been able to commercialize everything, including their weddings, children, and all other aspects of their personal lives. You can now get paid to go grocery shopping, eat dinner, gossip in a hair salon, flip tables in a restaurant, throw parties for your kids, get "bubbie" implants, or anything else your heart can stage on camera.

That being said, I occasionally watch Kimora Lee's reality show. I religiously watched The Real Housewives of ATL and NJ. But I thought the ignorance had gone too far with Tiny and Toya. I thought why should these random women who haven't done anything productive for society or humanity get to become household names, get undeserved praise and attention and get paid for it?

Then I met them. (On t.v at least) They proved to be far more wise than any of the educated women on Bridezilla, they seemed to have far more compassion than any of the wealthy women from Bergen County, and they seemed to put their family first more so than any Octomom or reality show celebrity. These women were genuine. The best moment ever was when Toya is explaining the struggle of a mother who is dealing with drug addiction and Tiny responds in her southern drawl; "what can I do to make you feel betta?" These women counsel each other, comfort each other and pray for each other. It is refreshing to see black women respecting one another and not gossiping or spending their days discussing someone elses' poverty, failure or pain but instead supporting one another through life transitions. Who would've thought that the refreshing image of black women that I was looking for would come from two "rapper wives."

Now of course I recognize that much of reality tv shows is edited and we do not see all the behind the scenes drama. But I'm pretty sure if BET had some footage of Tiny and or Toya having extensive conversation about some woman they didn't like or some of salacious gossip BET would've been sure to air it. I'm also sure if BET had footage of Tiny and Toya wastefully spending on frivolous items, while millions of children starve, BET would have aired it. Instead you see Toya trying to grow up and find an independent identity for herself. You see Tiny struggling with an aging father, a husband in prison and the struggles of being a mother. I was particularly drawn to Tiny's struggle, it raises great questions about feminism and marriage. She seems to be questioning her role as a wife (for our intents and purposes T.I and Tiny are married) and as a working woman? Should she go back to singing and music which she loves, or do what makes her husband happy? These are real women struggles. This isn't about bling or writing checks for Cadillacs it instead dealt with an entrepreneur and a young adult blossoming.

I have to admit, the elitist in me caught at glance of Tiny's tattoo-ed arms, and Toya's tattooed breast and assumed the worst. I assumed the show would be filled with ignorance, pole dancing parties and spoiled bratty children. Maybe I need to check myself, I believe that middle class black people have a tendency to judge black people who grew up in "the hood" or in low income backgrounds who later become rich via athletics or entertainment. (Jealousy??) I don't know. We wonder if they perpetuate all the negative stereotypes that we fight daily to destroy. We go to school, get degrees and try our best not too seem too "urban" or loud or anything reminiscent of the poor image we see daily. It seems to bother us deep down inside when we see people who didn't go to school, who don't vacation in Marthas Vineyard and who don't shop at J. Crew being heralded as successes of the black community.

I had to remove my barrier of elitism and of regional discriminationn to see how genuine, kind and loving these women really are. Yes Tiny having a husband in jail does perpetuate negative black male stereotypes, but I can't say that anyone is perfect. He definitely was living that "hood life" that I loathe so much. It bothers me that he had all the wealth and the comforts and he still felt the pull of street mentalities that I can never understand. But that's just the point, I need to realize how much I just don't understand and not judge. My distrust for Tiny and Toya highlights the class divides in the black community that Michael Eric Dyson and Malcolm X talked about. Toya did get pregnant at 14, and before I judged her I should've recognized how hard it must have been to grow up transient, poor and with a drug-addicted mother. I should've recognized how that could make her susceptible to the lures of an attractive young boy who promises you the world.

Now I won't go as far as to say that I respect all the booty shaking that goes on on BET, and I won't say I disagree with a lot of the things that Bill Cosby says either. There is still a lack of parenting going on in our community. There is still a removal of values and morals in our community and a sense of complacency, there is still a "hood rich" mentality that is frightening. However maybe it's time I looked at things with more of an open mind and recognized the value that these women re-introduce to black reality T.V. shows. I don't complain about the Kardashians when they're spending money left and right nor do I complain about $6000 birthday cakes for 11 year olds in ATL. Maybe Tiny and Toya's show can show us people with real values and real families and not just women tearing each other down with books (Cop without a Badge) and lies.




"Your values is in disarray, prioritizing horribly, unhappy with the riches cause your pisspoor morally." Tip

April 11th 2009- Act Like A Lady Think Like a Man???????

So anyone who is close with me knows, I've been talking about this every two seconds for the past few weeks. Steve Harvey's new book; Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, the problem is, even the title is problematic for me.

I'm a feminist.

I'm also a Women and Gender Studies Minor, so I'm so entrenched in theory that I forget about the real. Rutgers has one of the premier women and gender studies programs in the US, in part because of the emphasis not just on women's studies, but also on the examination of gender. So all I've been reading and discussing over the past 3 years is "gender is a social construct," "women should be able to have the same choices (sexually and in other areas) as men," and basically it has all gotten to me. I will be honest, there is a great deal of merit in the things that Judith Butler, Drucilla Cornell, Audre Lorde etc argue, but at the end of the day, I live in a non-feminist world.

I've learned that I cannot apply feminist theory to men. It just doesn't work. If I am looking at things through a feminist perspective, then I'm working in the opposite direction of my goal. Anyone who knows me really well knows that I ultimately want an impactful, succesful career, and I also want a succesful happy marriage. (somewhere down the line.)



Everything Steve Harvey says is anti-feminist theory, but everything he says is true.

Case and point:"Act like a lady"--what the heck is a lady? Is there a certain way to eminate femininity? The term lady is an old fashioned way to remind women to be demure, chaste, pious, docile and pious. The old idea is that men didn't want women who were too opinonated, or who spoke to frequently, or who were to open sexually. If a woman was open and comfortable with her sexuality, then she is more likely to demand that a man please her sexually and meet her standards. So to allow men to always set the tone, and have control over women, the concept of acting like a lady comes about.....However, it's true, men do want women who fit the stereotype of feminine. Mr. Harvey tells us (that sounds creepy, like Mr. Harvey is our leader lol) that men still want women to let them feel important, to let them take care of women and to let them open doors and do all those things. So it may not be right, but it may just be the nature of the game. And I can't lie, flowers every now and then and a man who walks on the street side are kind of nice.



"Men like shiny things....A man has never walked across the room because of your brain."
Its so unfortunate, but its true. I used to hate the line from the Destiny's Child song "Cater to You" when Kelly says that nonsense "I'll keep it tight, keep my figure right/I'll keep my hair fixed, rocking the hottest outfits." I used to be so outraged by that, because at the end of the day, we never hear men saying, "yea baby, I'll always have my hair cut, I'll always smell good, I'll always be fit." It's almost like its okay for a man to fall of and get all shlubby, but if a woman does the same, her man has the right to cheat. It's wrong, but that don't make it a lie.

It's so unfair for women, especially in the 21st century, where most women work outside of the home, make our own money, etc. and still statistically speaking, women do the majority of the housework. How am I supposed to go to work, drive kids to school, pack lunches, do laundry, make dinner, balance the checkbook, AND make time to go to the gym, get my hair done, and put makeup on? It's just not fair!!!!

Life lesson: Life's not fair. Men do like shiny things, it may not be fair, it is definitely not easy, but lets face it. It doesn't give him the right to cheat, but it will give him the ammunition. We're human, for the same reason people don't like to eat leftovers for dinner, men still want their girfriends/wives to look nice, and not only nice, hot. Its so messed up, Whitney Casey,the woman who has done the research on this even says, "we have to wear heels!" OMG! HEELS ARE SEXY, BUT THEY ARE NOT COMFORTABLE! It drives me crazy when men are like "oooo wear heels" because they really don't know all that goes into heels. Imagine walking on stilts for hours at a time; waiting in line to get into a club, dancing in the club, on the way back home. It's not easy.

Life lesson: Life's not easy.I've come to the conclusion that women have it harder. But just because we've got it harder doesn't mean we should throw in the towel. If you're interested in dating men and being in heterosexual relationships, you end up participating in a sexist, unfair, cruel, risky game.Sometimes, people win games. I'm competitive, and if I dare put my bid in, I expect to get a high return.I used to think that by participating in all this, dressing up for men, playing the gender role of a lady, and following the dating rules, I was encouraging all these sexist ideas, but at the end of the day, my ideals aren't going to keep me warm at night. So that all being said. I've decided that I'm going to particpate in this sick twisted dame called heterosexual dating. I love black men. So it becomes even more complicated (but that's a whole different topic.) So now I have to learn, and I love my girls, and if I come out on top, I want them to come out on top too.

So without exposing myself to much, I've made 10,000 mistakes when it comes to men and dating. But I'm learning, and learning is really important when it comes to games, you have to observe the patterns of others, and you kind of have to adapt your behavior to the situation your in. I have to admit, I've always been a fan of Steve Harvey's radio show, he's funny, he's a man of faith, he's old school in a very comforting kind of way, so I had a feeling his book would be good. Steve Harvey's book is not good. Steve Harvey's book is the truth. He doesn't tell us what we want to hear, he tells us what we need to hear. I haven't even bought the book yet, but based solely on convos with friends. (Thanks MG, Michael and Jeremy) and on watching/listening to his interviews I've already figured out a lot of my biggest mistakes.

Many of my mistakes are unfair, from a feminist perspective I may not have done anything wrong, but men, black men especially have certain expectations, and certain rules that they almost always follow, and if I break them, I should expect to lose.

So learning from my mistakes, these are the things I'm learning, and I hope we can all do this. Steve does make some great points, women have lowered our standards, especially black women. We know that the odds aren't in our favor, so we are so concerned about not running men off that we've lowered the bar. We've let them get away with things that men from our father's and grandfather's generations would not have dared to do. We are so scared of running a guy off or appearing clingy that we don't say what we really feel from the jump. So these are the things I've learned.

1) As Dr. Seuss says, "Be who you are and say what you feel because the people who matter don't mind and the people who mind don't matter." If you as a woman are looking for a serious relationship. Say so, rather than playing these "i don't want to be clingy" games, just be honest from the gate, if he can't handle that, then don't try to hang on and change his mind, just let him go.

2) DONT GIVE IT UP. I used to be like "oh women should be able to enjoy sex just as much as men, if I want it, why should I have to wait, bla bla bla" But at the end of the day, women and men have different rules about sex, men can have as much sex as they want and still be desirable, when we do it, our value declines. But Steve Harvey explains it even better. When he used to work at Ford Motors, they didn't let people get the benefits package until the end of a 90 day period. We as women have a great benefits package. ;-) So why should we let just anyone get the benefits package until he's proved that he's got what it takes? The 3 month rule is an old one, but its a good one. If he can't wait, he doesn't deserve the cookie. **BONUS:People who wait until their married, usually win. If you can do it, more power to you, it is honorable, amazing and those people will get the majority of the benefits. ***

3) ***Keep it shiny.** Uuuuuggggghhhh I hate this! Heels are annyoing, but even I have to admit my legs look sexier, butt looks hotter, they accentuate everything. I like my glasses, I think they're cute, but I gotta do the contacts, pony tails won't get you a ring, so I have to even get my hair done. All this can be expensive, but thats why we have friends, mix and match, borrow, share services. (I can do a mean doobie, so if someone wants to do my eyebrows we got a deal.)

4) Set the bar high. I work hard, I demand excellence in academics, leadership, morals and everything else. So as hard and as scary as it may seem, I have to expect certain things from men. Steve says it, if a man really likes you, you won't run him off, so without being rude, nasty or stank, make it clear with your actions what you will and will not allow.

5) Men want to "protect, provide, and profess" after 6 months a dude should not still be introducing you as " a friend." (I know these first hand)

6) Ask questions. We don't have to be Shelby Woo or Sherlock Holmes, but if theres something on your mind, ask it. This is probably my worst habit, but if we ask questions up front, we will prevent a lot of post traumatic stress. You'd hate to let someone get the benefits package if they haven't even filled out the application. Steve says, men always have a plan, and guys, you all confirmed this, so it's true, it can't hurt to ask, whats the plan? What are your goals in life? What do you think of me. So thats all I have for now, I'm learning, and it's not easy, but I know what I want in life, and I'm willing to make sacrifices for it. More importantly I'm willing to learn in order to get it.

Ladies: read this book! stop swaping advice with our friends who are in the same situations as us. Gentlemen: if your tagged you are probably a good friend, help us out! You know the secrets, tell us how it works. If you made it all the way down here...thanks for reading. XOXOXO http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfVd7C7bjwQ

October 7th,2008-What Happened To Excellence

It has taken me a few days to get around to this. But before I evaluate tonight's debate, I wanted to take some time and reflect on the direction of this country. In a perfect world, Americans would vote only on issues; the economy, health care, the environment, education, women's rights/issues, etc. American's wouldn't care about whose Pastor was whom, they would just look at voting records, party platforms, statements and actions. We don't live in a perfect world. Americans don't always read the newspaper, we don't always do our research, and we do believe rumors. For quite some time, people believed Barack Obama was a Muslim (and if he was? what would be so bad about that ?) Most people don't do their own research and more importantly get caught in "personality traits" or the superficial. We have allowed ourselves to be persuaded by passing emotions and trends, and by smiles and folksy humor. I was disgusted by Sarah Palin the moment John McCain nominated her. I disagree with her policy. She is against abortion under any circumstances, she is also against comprehensive sex education. She is a supporter of the NRA. The list goes on...But since Americans care so much about "character" and personality. I have to ask, what happened to excellence?

What happened to Presidential candidates who were smarter than you and I? Who were philosophers, well educated, or just plain different from everyday Americans. I don't know about you all, but I have enough friends. I don't need my President to be my friend. I need a president to be a leader, to be able to negotiate and to be able to make sound, rational decisions. I also don't need a candidate that I can always relate to, because really, what difference does it make? People voted for George W. Bush (the 2nd time...because he didn't win the first time) because he was "the type of guy you could have a beer with." Because he played the Joe Blow role. They didn't care that he voted AGAINST a Hate Crimes Bill, they didn't care that he was so inarticulate that rather than have real policy debates against John Kerry, he called him a "flip flopper" (second grade anyone?)

Sarah Palin. Every time she winked at the camera during last weeks' debate I felt a little sick in my stomach. This is not the Ms. Elk Alaska Beauty Pageant. You can't win votes by smiling and looking pretty...or can you?What it really boils down to it, Republicans and Democrats alike have used character traits to win votes rather than to focus on issues that affect people's lives. But recently, George W. Bush, John McCain and his running mate, have used this tactic the best. I just hope that we are all too smart to fall for it again. I hope that we can go back to the days of excellence. Each person whether they are running for office or not has flaws. Some are horrible people all around. But at least there was once a time when Americans wanted their Presidents to be smarter then them, more well read, better people. Shouldn't an extraordinary job get an extraordinary person?

In Palin's comments during the VP debate, not only did she wink incessantly, she kept talking about the "Joe Six-packs" and the Hockey moms that she could relate to. As a woman who sincerely respects "average" people I have to admit there are lot of idiots out there, and just because someone is average, doesn't mean they deserve to be President. Every Al Bundy or Susy Homemaker I meet doesnt necesarily have the standout qualities it takes to be a leader. Leaders can come from the middle class, they can be every day people. Jimmy Carter is a perfect example. He wasn't the most educated of presidents, but he wasn't average either. According to his biographers, while all the Joe Six Packs were drinking wiskey and gambling on the submarine, Jimmy was always reading a book, putting together a puzzle.

When Katie Couric asked Sarah Palin what newspapers she read on a regular basis, Gov. Palin couldn't list one. But we can't deny that education is important. Isn't education the American dream, isn't it what helps everyday Joe Blow's climb the social ladder? So why all of a sudden have Republicans and (Hillary Clinton) a certain Democrat called Barack Obama an elitist because he has a bachelors from Columbia University and a Law degree from Harvard? When did getting excellence become elitism? Sarah Palin had to transfer to 6 different colleges to get 1 bachelors in broadcast journalism. Not that it should disqualify her all around, but there was a time when we wanted our elected officials to rise above the crowd. To be outstanding, and being outstanding doesn't always mean being well educated but, it does mean your campaign strategy shouldn't be showing Americans that you are "just like them." I don't think its really that important if I can relate to a Presidential candidate. I need him/her to get the job done.

Although he was a slave owner, racist and mysoginist, Thomas Jeffeson was a philosopher, he was well read, he was a horticulturist, archeologist, palentologist, inventor...the man founded a univerisity! What happened to leaders like that...who were great thinkers, who had visions of how to get things done. It scares me that the direction of politics is who can be the most average? Who can appeal to American voters by seeming just like them. Are we that intimidated by excellence that we'd settle for a mediocre poltician just to make us feel better about ourselves? People get mad at Obama for being a great orator, but weren't Abraham Lincoln and John F Kennedy just that...great orators? Now being able to speak well doesn't always qualify someone for poltical office, but in terms of symbolism, if we are looking at the outside, surface indicators. Why do people prefer the "straight talking Palins" or the moronic George W's to an awe-inspiring Obama?

June 19th 2008- Fox News on Black Women

Watch this clip before you read this note: [This clip has since been removed by Youtube, it is basically a clip of Fox News commentator Cal Thomas making racist remarks about a black female politician. He claims that black women are too often complaining and that they are always angry.]

First and foremost let me say, in any "racial" or ethnic group, any religious,cultural, regional group of people or whatever the case may be, each person within that group is not the same. I may be what Republicans like to call a "New York Times reading latte drinker" ( I actually don't even drink coffee) but that doesn't mean that I don't also go to a church. Every church goer doesn't hate gay people and the list goes on. So I am always offended when anyone makes a generalization about Black people, because of course that is a group that I belong too, but as the infamous T. I says "you don't know me." As each member of this cultural group is different, many of us do identify with one another and we share a struggle (contrary to what some believe, Black women do have a struggle in this country and in this world.) So a lot of black women enjoy Essence or Heart and Soul magazines, as with any demographic, there are things that we have in common.

I am reluctant to say that I am angry about what Cal Thomas said, because that would play right into what he is saying, but I do have a right to be offended when someone makes a rude remark about Black women. But his comment is clearly indicative of the lack of diversity in images within the media. Cal Thomas may have his own biases that prompted him to say what he said, but there are people who agree with him, who get their concept of what a black women is from the media. Black women are a diverse group within ourselves, yet every time I turn on the TV, I see the "Levita Alize Jenkins" types from Steve Harvey, or the "Honey chile" types from the Pine Sol commercials or that silly Dr. Miracles commercial " What you saying about my hair?!" or the "I didnt get no sleep cause of you types" etc. So of course people from the outside looking in are going to assume thats what Black women are, they are not going to understand that many black women are cool calm and collected, they don't snap their necks or beat their kids or wear head rags all day long. Some do all of the above. Some are bohemian and would rather eat Sushi than fried chicken. Some are angry, some are confused, some are oblivious to the struggle of a black women, some don't care. Personally, I am not angry....anger consumes you, and I'm not sick and tired either, I'm too young to be sick and tired. I am vigilant, and working hard to try to right some of the wrongs that exist in our world for black women, and I am firm in my views. I am disgusted at some of the things black people, poor people, latinos, middle eastern people etc have endured at the hands of this country's political and social structure. I have every right to be.

April 16th, 2008- Why I'm Voting for Barack Obama

As I sit in my college dorm watching the Democratic debate, I become more and more excited to see what Barack Obama can do for this country. I admire the way he thinks, they way he carrys himself, and they way he, unlike any other politician addresses the issues that are on our minds. After Rev. Wright's comments surfaced, Barack Obama was attacked all over the country, people asked, "how could you sit while this man said what he said?" Regardless of how I feel about Rev. Wright's comments, I have to hand it to Sen Obama for not doing what I know Hillary would have done if she was in the same situation, for not evading the issue, but rather, tackling it head on. I think part of the reason so many people are disenchanted with politicians, is because they always seem to give us the run around. They never seem to want to answer the questions dead on. Obama did. He brought up the elephant in the room, he talked about race. A topic that is in the very heart of this country. Race, and our issues with race, in some aspects, have defined this country. Yet for some reason, everytime one brings it up, they're either pegged as a racist, or someone with a chip on their shoulder. Obama talked about the things that have been in the back of so many of our minds. Thats indicative of a real leader. It is also what sets Obama apart from his Democratic opponent, Hillary Clinton. She's a politician, he's a leader. She has spent more of her campaign beating up on Obama, and trying to find flaws within him, then talking about the real issues that affect our lives, and how she will address them. It sickens me the bickering that Clinton has participated in, she has spent more effort in her campaign complaining about Obama, then handling her own affairs.
But this isn't about Clinton, it's about who can bring my country together. And that is our key issue, unity. I do believe that 95% of politicians who go into public office, had good intentions when they started working in policy. But somehow someway, for Senators specifically, when they get to the capital, they seem to get caught up in the political games that prevent our country from progressing. They won't vote on bills because someone on the "other side of the aile" came up with it. They become caught up in "you scratch my back," "I'll scratch yours" games. They put the needs of American citizens on the backburner, in order to futher their own political career, they don't want to talk about issues that are too sticky, too controversial, if the media isn't talking about it, then they wont talk about it. No one wants to talk about the unequitable drug sentencing, the issues in our judicial system, why, because they're afraid people will think that they are not "tough" on crime. What happened to honest leaders, who took the road less traveled, who talked about the things everyone was running away from, individuals who weren't afraid to be disliked as long as they knew they were doing the right thing, did they ever exist?
I see a true leader in Obama. I am a spiritual person, and I use teachings from The Bible to guide me in my life. I know that the Bible says, "and a child will lead them," (Isaiah 11: 6) The first thing Clinton pointed out with Barack Obama, was is lack of experience in Washington. In the beggining she built her campaign on "experience." But to me, a person who has spent years in Washington DC, working day in and day out with politicians, probably has a lot of backs to scratch, probably has adapted to the ways of politicians. I want a fresh voice, a fresh face, I want someone with a vision, not just an ambition. Both individuals are ambitious, but in my heart, I feel that much of Hillary Clinton's ambition is selfish. She reminds me of every other politician before her. She is caught in the same Baby Boomer divide that Republicans from her generation are caught in. What liberals and conservatives alike fail to understand is that nothing can be accomplished politically, in terms of legislation with out bipartisanship. Not unless you can get a Senate that is 80% Republican or 80% Democrat. So that as it is, we have to work together. It's something will all learned in kindergarden (maybe it's been so long since Hillary has been there that she forgot.) We have to compromise, we have to work together. It seems so basic, but it's essential. It's what I admire about Obama, his belief in working alongside both Republicans and Democrats to get things done. I have yet to hear about Hillary Clinton working in tandem with Republicans (as much as I disagree with them) in order to accomplish something. But it is what this country is about, working with and LISTENING to people that we are in disagreement with.
Hillary called Obama an elitist. (Even though, if we're thinking about tangible displays of elitism, the Clintons are in a VERY elite tax bracket that most Americans cannot even dream of. Whereas Barack and Michelle, relatively speaking are probably the poorest couple in the election- Republican or Democrat.) Hillary has been name calling all along. But this name was interesting to me, because she's been the one picking on him for being such a great orator, for being so intellegent, and I wonder, what has happened to this country, once a country of thinkers and philosphers, that being well spoken, makes you docile? What Obama said about voters from Pennsylvania, was poorly worded, but it made some sense (I'm not a politican, so I can say that.) But what is so ironic about the Hillary campaign jumping on his words, is that she is the one who says, (I'm paraphrasing) 'I'm about action, not words, I'll let Obama be the orator.' But when you think about it, Obama's words here, are not as detrimental as Clinton's actions toward the working class people of Pennsylvania. Hillary has voted in favor of the free trade agreements that sent these people's jobs and livelyhoods abroad. So I'd rather Obama call me 'bitter' than send my job and subsequently my way of putting food on my family's table to Mexico.
Obama made the majority of his campaign funds from students like me sending $5 or $10 to his campaign online. Hillary has collected money from all types of politicans and wealthy individuals, and when the going got tough, she put $5million of her own in the pool. (Obama, like the average American doesnt have 5 million to throw into a campaign) Obama has built his campaign from the ground up, something so rare in todays political machines. Hillary collected her money the same way McCain did, and probably the same way Bush did. Obama can work with politicians to get things done, but he is not one of them.
Obama understands Americans, he understands that this country was built on optimism and hope. People laugh when he uses those words, but when did hope and faith become taboo? When did we become so cyncical and disenchanted that when someone talked about "The Audacity of Hope" we rolled our eyes. Obama is so refreshing, he is the light in the dark room. He is incredibly honest, and incredibly intellegent. Unlike other politicians, he told us from the beggining about his mistakes and flaws (drug use in college) and to me, it made him more human. I want a President who did some dumb things in college, who grew and questioned themself for years, before they got to where they are now. But more importantly, Obama understands and relates to people.
As I read Dreams from My Father, I realized that he has observed people from various walks of life, and paid close attention to their needs and their lifestyles, for anyone skeptical, he can sit down and talk with you, and you will leave convinced. I'll admit, I was doubtful initially. As a black woman who has seen a glimpse of the racism imbedded in this country's psyche, I didn't think he could garner the support from white consituents. But that's what makes him so unique, his ability to relate to people who normally would have nothing to do with a Black man. I am still a John Edwards fan, and I will probably always be. I agree with much of Edwards' policy, but now that he is no longer in the race, it has allowed me to pay closer attention to Obama, I have been priveleged to see his negotiation skills, his wit, his intellegence, and his understanding of real people.
Obama has a dream of bringing this country together, whereas everyone else wants to keep doing things the way they have been done, keep scratching their friends backs, and following the trends. Everytime I hear the Yes We Can speech, I remember that this man is different. He is not like the rest.

April 13th, 2008-As Jill Scott Says-Hate on ME!

"We ask ourselves, Who am I to be gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone! And as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. And as we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others!”--------Marianne Williamson/Nelson Mandela


I was being nosy and reading through people's facebook statuses, and it's so funny to me how many people--mostly women---mostly black women, have statuses that say something to the degree of, "All these hatin b****es can keep hatin i dont care" or "these girls can keep talking" or "lmao at these hoes" about how they are not letting haters get beneath their skin.
I share that sentiment in not allowing people who don't have something positive or constructive about me, to hurt me. (Mind you, everything someone says about me, does not need to be positive, because that would imply that I am perfect, which is FAR from true..."all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God"--so some negative things need to be said, it just needs to be constructive, not childish.)But at the same time, why even dignify these people with filling up your status with comments pertaining to them, what I've learned is to keep my mind on God, and growth, and not even make facebook statuses or away messages about it, because something tells me, thats what they are looking for.

But the point of my note is, I feel that often, the hate that we as women experience is deeply rooted in other people being insecure about themselves. But what bothers me, is that so many of us allow the haters to win, and allow them to stop our progress.
I've noticed, that haters,(note: we are all haters sometimes, its so funny how we complain about haters, and then say unconstructive negative things about others, it is not an "us-them" binary when it comes to haters, there is no "other" it is all of us, for each of us that has been "hated on" we have "hated on" someone else.) The people who always have some non-constructive criticism, or some unproductive comment to share, usually their comment relates to someone being "Stuck up" or "full of themselves" or "who does she think she is?" And as a response to that, I see myself subconsciously, and other women subconsciously, deciding their actions and behavior based on how other people may or may not react to it.

How many times have we heard friends say, "I love the way I look in this dress, but I know that girls are gonna say---look at that ho, with the short dress, why she trying to show off?" Then not wear whatever it is because they are afraid people are going to say stuff. But as the quote says, "who am i to be gorgeous...actually who are you not to be?" How many times have people, especially people with stellar GPA's or accomplishments said, "I don't want anyone to know what I got on this test," because what, they're afraid that they are going to get people saying..."Oh he thinks he's this or that because he's got a high GPA." What I often wonder is, why should I have to play down my success, blessings and hard work to make you feel better about yourself? God has blessed me in more ways than I could ever express, so why shouldn't I say that I've won this award?

One of my favorite poets, (A Teach for America alum) Taylor Mali has a poem about how everyone in our generation can't make declarative statements anymore, we always begin thoughts with "Like" because we don't want to say a bold statement such as, "This is morally wrong" instead we say, 'this is like wrong, because like...' and as he says, we often add inflection to our voices at the statements in a way that makes declarative statements in to questions, so when we say something, "This is a great movie" we add a "like you know?" As if saying, "hey, I need you to agree with me that this is a good movie in order for me to feel good, I'm not sure of my own opinons, so i need you to say yes."



But here I am being a hyppocrite, because I have done every one of these things, I won 4 awards this semester, and not even my closest friends know about all of them. Why, because I've been allowing fear of criticism to prevent me from letting my light shine.
This type of behavior, limiting or downplaying your ideas, success, blessings, talent, beauty or intellegence, in order to prevent people from thinking that you are full of yourself, does no good to our broader community. If you are a state champion swimmer, why should you have to hide your medals? And in this, I am speaking particularly to the Black community. We would not have made the progress we have made now, if people like Dr. King said, "I don't want you to think I'm conceited, so I'm just going to keep my thoughts to myself." Or people like Muhammed Ali did not say "I am the greatest!" Albeit, Ali did have a little conceit in him, but I think I'd rather someone be conceited than someone be a mouse in the corner trying to play it safe and be everyones friend.

God does not look favorably on people who boast, and I know that is something that I try not to do, but he also doesn't look favorably on people who don't act like who they are...children of the most High! In Genesis 32, Jacob fights with the angel all night to get his blessing. Imagine the audacity to say "No you are going to bless me if I have to fight you all night" God obviously rewards that type of audacity. He wants us to say, "I am Ashley Cheree Sawyer child of God, tell me whom shall I fear?" I had a friend tell me that I am too bold, and I thought to myself, should I be timid, should I walk in fear to make other people feel less intimidated by me?
We do have to be considerate of other people, if my brother or sister is starving, it doesnt make sense for me to be bragging about my sandwich. If my friend is broke, it is not kind of me to be talking about the money I have in my pocket. But it does make sense to tell my sister how she can get the bread I got or tell my brother how he can get the job I have. So of course I don't flaunt my bread, but I'm not doing my friend any favors by hiding my bread in my pocket either. There is a balance, and there is a blessing in letting our own success shine.
"And as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. And as we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others!”
So often people are in meetings, and the person conducting the meeting will say, "Does anyone have any suggestions?" And no one will speak up. Yet each person in that meeting is capable and smart enought to contribute something positive toward the growth of their peers. But they stay silent, because they don't want to step on anyone's toes, or suggest something that other people may not agree with. Yet as soon as the meeting is over, the same people who had nothing to say, tell their friends "I think that we should have the event in the morning," or whatever the case may be, but they are so fearful of speaking up, they are so afraid that their own idea, their own suggestion might not be valid, we are afraid that what we have to say is not important enough. This self doubt doesn't lead to growth.
I'm timid in my support of captialism, I agree with some aspects, and disagree with others, but one of the merits of a capitalistic society, is competition. Competition breeds innovation. So if you own a resturant, and I own a resturant, I'm going to do my best to make my food as good as possible, so that patrons will come to mine over yours. Competition for all it's worth, does make people work harder and try to be the best they can be. And I think it should be the same way in other areas, without being arrogant, one should be able to present their ideas, and talents with boldness, so that it encourages other people, in a humane way, to try to improve their ideas and talents. I know women and men with beautiful voices, who are afraid to sing in front of others, not because they don't think they can sing, but because they are afraid it's going to make other people think that they are showing off. Now of course you don't need to be singing all the time, but when someone asks you to, don't be shy, let your light shine.
Walk in authority!

January 2007 Blog-Baby Steps

I guess I am sort of subversive, in that I don't always do what everyone else does, and I always have a way of analyzing everything, including the tradition of New Years resolutions. I think the idea is pretty good in principle, like we should always take time out to think about what we're doing wrong, and how we can improve going forward. That's wonderful, but lets be real, how many of us remember what our new years resolution was for 2006? I sure as hell don't. So what sense does it make to do the same thing the following year, to set a goal that we'll probably forget about in 2 months, and that often we don't achieve. Plus, who told us that we could handle 365 days? Why are we trying to transform our habits, our weight, our attitude, or whateva over the course of a year, to me that sounds like an excuse to procrastinate. (something i'm REALLY good at) "It's like okay so i said i was going to start saving money in 07, but i dont have to do it in january, why not feb. yea then I'll make a budget" So this year, I've decided to make baby steps, rather than make a new years resolution, I'm making new months resolutions. Why should i wait til the end of the year to clean up my act? This way I'm constantly checking myself, 12 times a year, constantly looking to improve, and i have less time to procrastinate, and a more reasonably sized task.This month's resolution, is to be more assertive, hopefully I can carry it with me throughout 07, but for now, I'm just thinking about Jan. Remember: baby steps...I realize that often I let ppl walk over me, I let people say rude things to me, do rude things to me, or that I am not always myself because I'm afraid to offend anyone or whatever. So for the month of January, I'll speak my mind. Speaking my mind doesn't mean I have to be rude, or snotty either, it means I have to be respectful and tasteful, but make it clear I'm no one's "bitch." I feel like a lot of times I have these long grudges against people, and can't even remember why, and its probably because they did something to me, and I was too passive to speak up, and I let it slide, but over time it built up this resentment in me, but I can't even tell that person why I'm mad at them. I should've addressed it when it first came up. I'm too nice, to people who arent nice to me, I let people borrow things, use my space etc and don't say "hey"thats enough, I need my shit back. Why am I so afraid of losing so called friends or whatever, if they can't handle me being real with them, maybe I don't need them around. I look back on how many times I've let people take soo much from me, literally, physically and figuratively and I never spoke up and said "hey i don't want this" or "im not feeling u like that" or "i need that, i dont feel like sharing it" or "im not ready, fall back/" Once again, these things don't need to be said in a nasty way, because when u speak to people wit respect, they generally respond a lot better. But somethings need to be said. So this is for anyone whose not said what they felt because they were afraid to hurt someones feelings, or who wasnt themselves around some people, or who let someone in their lives get away with too much for too damned long:"Be who you are and say what you feel, because the people who mind dont matter, and the people who matter don't mind." For my true friends and fam who love me like cooked food, thanks for respecting my realness, and for encouraging me to be bold and do what I need to do for me. In the end, I'm not selfish, but I've just got to be me, cool calm collected, kind and sweet, but "make me unselfish, WITHOUT BEING BLIND"Happy January